Posts Tagged ‘haiku’

A Haiku of Plesiosaurs

(Just a reminder that the Many Waters discussion is scheduled for next Tuesday, October 30. This one is slightly longer than the other books, so plan accordingly.)

Oh, plesiosaur
Ancient lizard of the sea
I have heard it said

That you may remain
Deep in waters dark; such as
in Bonny Scotland

Is it also true
That in enclosed spaces you
can be self-folding?

That would be awesome.
Science doesn’t know your shade;
Obviously, purple.

100th Post Celebration

Tada!  100 posts!  Not too shabby for me and the Landsquid.  In celebration, I give you the top 5 posts thus far:

Collaborative Writing – Characters
Writing with a Partner – Collaborative Editing
What Would You Put on a List of the 100 Best Scifi/Fantasy Books?
Of Sleep Deprivation and Haiku

Give me some feedback, Squiders.  Would you like me to post more often?  Less often?  (Currently I’m on a MWF schedule.)  Topics you’d like me to cover?  Topics you’d like me not to cover?  How do you like the drawings?





Of Sleep Deprivation and Haiku

I have gotten a total of 7.5 hours of sleep over the past two nights.  As such, I am admittedly a little, um, what’s the term – punch-drunk?  What does that even mean? 

Also, wordpress informs me that I have misspelled my title and now I must fix that.

My friends, landsquid love them, have come up Sky Turtles and Sky Sharks and Land Piranhas.  JOY.  Uh, I mean, what, I don’t have an obsession with fictional animals.

Right, focus.  I had planned a nice writing post for you all today, but seeing how I’m having issues staying awake and coherent and how everything is funny, we are going to leave that for another time and instead communicate in haiku.

Now you may ask why
The answer is quite clear
Because I said so.

Come, haiku with me
Perhaps we’ll tell a story
Possibly about squid.

The Squid Majestic
Ruler of the Deep Waters
Except the Landsquid

Of Turtleducks and Self-Folding Plesiosaurs

To continue our series on strange fictional animals, today I bring you turtleducks and self-folding plesiosaurs.  (As evidenced by the title.)

Isn’t it interesting how the oddest things catch on?  As an example, I like terrible jokes.  Jokes like “A man walked into a bar.  Ow.”  or “Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?  Because it was dead.”  or “If it’s a thousand miles to Kansas, how many flapjacks does it take to cover a doghouse?  Purple, because ice cream doesn’t have any bones.”  (Re: that last one – one of the contractors at my last job asked me it and was outright flabbergasted when I knew the answer.  I was his favorite person forever.)

One of my very favorites is “What’s big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree onto you will kill you?”

The answer is “a pool table” but once, several years ago, I had a friend immediately reply, “An alligator!  But why is the alligator in the tree?”

I shared that answer with my writing group and it spawned a running in-joke, a short story anthology, and continues to be a question posed to new members. 

That may have seemed like an unrelated tangent (down the bunny trail, as my HS physics teacher used to say) but this brings us back around to Turtleducks.  Many years ago, a writing friend of mine was having a bad day, and I decided I would cheer her up, and that the best way to do so would be yell gibberish at her.  (My mind is a strange place sometimes.)  It did, however, work, and she (and others) latched on to the concept of the turtleduck and they continue to be randomly sprung on people.  (Usually at full volume.)

Years later, the turtleduck would be chosen to represent our publishing label at Turtleduck Press.  (The alligator in the tree was actually our first choice, but it was too close to already existing publishing labels.  I am still slightly in awe that I am responsible for both these phenomena.)

Now the self-folding plesiosaurs are something that seem to amuse mostly me (like Mad Tea Parties and eeevil robots) but I like to bring them back up every now and again.  They spawned during a conversation where I insisted everyone talk in haiku.  (See above about my brain.)  For some reason or other, someone sent me a picture of a plesiosaur (specifically of the Elasmosauridae family) in a living room, and we had a long discussion on how it had gotten in, and somehow decided that it had been folded up to accomplish the feat, and perhaps it had even folded itself.

Someday I will figure out how to sell self-folding plesiosaurs and all my money woes will be a thing of the past.

Anyway, on that note – know any good jokes?